kisah telur rebus :)

Aku ada cerita ni... lawak la juga.. tapi jangan ketawa tau... Aku baru berkahwin setahun yang lepas dan duduk dengan isteri aku. Kami duduk berdua sahaja sebab belum dikurniakan anak. Aku ni ada satu kegemaran -iaitu makan telur rebus. Aku pun taktahu kenapa aku suka makan telur rebus, sedap agaknya. Sebelum aku kahwin, aku memang gila telur rebus. Pagi petang siang malam makan telur rebus. Tapi semenjak aku kahwin ni aku terpaksa berkorbanlah, iaitu dengan meninggalkan tabiat aku ini. Lama juga aku dah tak pekena telur rebus ni.. sebab orang rumah aku masak sedap-sedap.. so aku dah tak kisah lagilah..

Ceritanya begini, bulan lepas masa aku balik kerja, tiba-tiba kereta aku rosak.. akupun telefon bini aku katakan aku balik lambat sebab kena menapak. Sebab lapar akupun singgah satu kedai makan tu... ada telur rebus lah.. akupun makan nasi dengan telur rebus.. lepastu aku order telur rebus lebih lagi untuk diratah. Sebelum balik aku bungkus lagi 10 biji telur rebus untuk makan sambil berjalan balik nanti. Tiba je kat rumah aku rasa amatlah kenyang.. maklumlah balas dendam sebab lama tak pekena telur rebus. Sebelum aku masuk kerumah, isteri aku tiba-tiba cakap dia ada \'surprise\' untuk aku malam ni. Dia suruh aku tutup mata dengan kain hitam yang diikat kemas dibelakang kepalaku. Dan dipimpinnya aku sampai ke meja makan. Aku duduk dikerusi dan isteriku pesan jangan cuba buka ikatan yang menutup mataku. Aku nak pergi toilet sebab perutku mula buat hal, tapi malaslah nak spoilkan \'surprise\' isteriku ini. Aku pun tahan ler...

Tetiba telefon berbunyi, isteriku pergi mengangkatnya. Apa lagi ada chance aku pun melepaskan kentut yang ditahan sekian lama.. Fuuuuhhh lega rasanya... bau boleh tahan... maklumler berapa biji telur tah aku bedal tadi... Alamak.. ada lagi satu la.. aku pun angkat sebelah punggung dan lepaskan satu das lagi.. bunyinya PRROOTTT!!... fuh bau jangan cakap beb.. aku pun tak tahan bau dia... aku kipas pakai tangan angin dia kasi kurang sikit bau dia... adalah mac! am bau telur tembelang sikit..

Tetiba aku dengar bunyi telefon berdering lagi... hai lamanya tunggu isteri aku ni, aku tak sabar lagi ni nak tahu surprise dia ni. Aku terasa ada lagilah, kali ni memang aku rasa power punyalah.. aku kumpul dulu kasi padu.. lepastu aku bangun, tonggeng sikit dan lepaskan angin taufan tu... PRRROOOOOTTT!!!!... fuhh lega... bergegar sikit meja makan dibuatnya... peh tak tahan aku bau dia power gila.. aku tutup hidung aku.. aku rasa bau dia ada sikit-sikit macam bangkai la.. mau mati bunga atas meja makan aku ni.. sambil tu aku sebut \'ahhhh.... lega...\'. Adalah dekat 5 minit baru bau bangkai tu hilang.. Lepas tu isteri aku kembali dan minta maaf sebab lambat.. lalu dia kata \'SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!\' dan suruh aku buka kain penutup mata aku.. laaa birthday aku hari ni le... camne boleh lupa ni.. Aku buka le kain penutup mata aku.. mulutku terus melopong...

ALAMAK!!!

Benda pertama aku lihat.. muka merah padam pak mertua aku, mak mertua aku, adik ipar aku dua orang, duduk keliling meja makan. Bos aku dengan jiran sebelah rumah rumah aku pun ada!!.

Aku salam bapak mertua aku dan untuk cover malu aku aku pun bertanya. "Bila ayah sampai?". Bapa mertuaku menjawab, " sejak kentut yang pertama lagi......"...erk..hahahaha

to my future girlfriend :)

1) I can’t promise you that I will always have the perfect thing to say, or act perfect overall. I can’t promise you that I will always have amazing advice on hand to give to you. What i can promise you is that I will always be there for you. No matter what. I will always be here to listen to you when you need someone to talk to. I will always be a phone call away and if you need, I will drive over, pick you up, and kidnap you to cheer you up. I’ll do everything in my power to support you.

2) So relationships are like roller coasters right? It has its up and downs, turns,twists,and loops right.So I wanna ride it with you, take you to a amusement park and go on one of the longest or scariest ride there is.Because I wanna go through all those ups and downs and turns with you.Because I’ll stand by your side if you stand by mine.Hold my hands through all those rides.Go through all those emotions when you go up and down and all around.Throw our hands up like nothing matters  , only me and you because we’re right next to each other in the ride and no one else..After we get done, we go to where they take our pictures and see who look the funniest or the worst because its a memory i wanna remember with you.

3) Can we spend the whole day in the park ? I’ll bring my camera and take pictures of YOU all day . It doesn't have to be of just us, but really you . I want to see you smile because I think you’re beautiful . I want to capture the moment where I can look back and remember that I was the reason that made you smile. And I like watching and listening to the rain and thunderstorms. Come over and we’ll cuddle besides the window and watch, and listen to the thunderstorm together. I’ll make us some hot chocolate and something nice to eat. We’ll cuddle together and fall asleep in each others arms. Don’t worry if you are scared  I’ll hold you tight and protect you.

4) I will never ignore, even if you hate me. I will always pick up the phone, even at 3 a.m. I’ll always be the first to start the conversation, and give you long sweet messages to start your day off. I’ll call you every night and talk to you until you fall asleep.  I will never let anyone be mean, or hurt you. I’ll never give you a reason to be jealous, because I’ll make sure you and everyone else know how much I love you. Keeping you happy is my job, if you are upset,  I’ll stay up all night talking to you until you are feeling better or until you make me sleep. I’ll never yell at you or physically hurt you, and never make you do anything you don’t want to, especially sexual stuff, but when we are both ready I’ll make sure it is one of the most special times of your life. I’d feel like the luckiest person in the world to be able to hold you as you sleep. I just want you to feel safe, and loved. I’d do anything to make you happy. I’ll give you gifts from time to time surprising you with special dates and flowers. When we go on our anniversary date, it’ll be unique, original and a very special day for you. 

5) I know I might seem like a flirt, I know I might seem kind of annoying and rude at times but I promise, I will never hurt you baby. You’re all that revolves around in my mind, I couldn’t imagine anyone else being on my mind as much as you. I will hold you in public, I will kiss you in public and show the fucking world how fucking lucky I am. My cell phone is always there if you need my voice. My shoulder is always there to cry on if you’re not having a good day. If you need me I’ll drive through hell fire just to make sure you’re okay. If you want something i will get it for you, and if I cant I will try my damndest to still try to get it for you. Whatever in the world you want I will give you the world because you already gave me my world.

Dear future girlfriend, I will keep testing whether you like it  or not